Feedback is my favourite communication tool. Once you get the hang of it, it can change your life tremendously.
I love it so much and I would not be here today without it. I would still be that pig-headed, narrow-minded girl with a fixed mindset. Thanks to the feedback, the most powerful communication tool, I am not that girl anymore, I am a strong, determined, woman and an entrepreneur who loves to learn and grow (hence Be skilled).
Even though it can change lives, and is easy to use, not so many people use it.
Why are we not using it?
Well, the main reason is that we do not know about it. Other reasons are:
- we are not sure when to use feedback,
- we feel exposed when we use feedback,
- we fear the others will not understand,
- we do not know how to use feedback properly,
How can we implement feedback in our life?
You can use feedback in every aspect of your life. In your relationship, in your business, with your children, etc. In all those fields it will help you have better communication, it will help you tell what you want to say in a more clear way, it will help you avoid the quarrel, it will help you shape someone else’s life. See how many benefits there are in using feedback.
How to use feedback properly?
Feedback is an honest tool. It means that the aim of the feedback is to be a gift that will help other person in some way. When we get the comment like “everything was good/bad”, “it looks good/bad on you” we really do not get any information. At least, not a relevant one.
The feedback is more concrete, precise, direct. When you give feedback you have the best interest of the other person in mind, you want them to improve.
You will say feedback like “That shirt looks really good on you. You look slimmer in it and it brings out the colour of your eyes. It is a perfect shirt to wear to the business meeting”.
This way you have given a lot more information, and the other person has more value out of it.
The other person (the one you have given the feedback to) now knows that in that shirt they:
- look slimmer,
- it brings out the colour of their eyes,
- and is perfect for a business meeting.
Feedback covers some exact situation/item, it defines what has happened, and gives some suggestions.
Why should I use feedback?
More precise, why should you not use feedback? It helps clear the air more properly, it helps you both to grow, it is a gift, you decide if you will use it or not, only with it you can truly grow (and prosper), etc.
What is a feedback sandwich?
We could say that it is the basic way of using feedback and it goes like this:
- First, you say something positive
- Then you say something negative (or that should be improved)
- You end with another positive comment
Do you see the sample? First, you say something that was good/positive, then you say something that should be improved and you finish with another positive thing. That way a person gets two positive comments and the things that need improving are put in the middle.
As in life, there are many versions of sandwiches. This is just a basic one. When you learn this one, then you can upgrade to the next sandwich versions.
What if someone does not know what is a feedback?
Then the safest thing to do is to explain to them that the feedback is the gift, ask them if they would like to hear it, explain that it has a good intention and is only there to help that person grow more. You can state out that the feedback involves a particular situation/item, and even offers (a few) solutions for the receiver. As with any other gift, the person who received the feedback has a choice to implement it or to say “thank you” and never implement it at all. It is also important to say that the person who is receiving feedback is listening carefully and not defending oneself.
I hope this text has given you a clearer view of this topic.
If you think this text would be of some value to your friend(s)/colleague(s) or someone feel free to send it to them – and do not forget to subscribe to the newsletter.
If you would like to learn how to give proper feedback you can contact me through e-mail: [email protected] or through social media (Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn).
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Knowledge is important, but skills are essential. Be skilled.